Sylvia jubilee was born in Mansfield Ohio in the good old U.S of A. as a child prodigy, she came to international prominence when she sang happy birthday Mr President to Richard Nixon at Madison Square Garden and she later discovered backstage why he was known as ‘tricky dicky’.
Her Hollywood career initially stalled when she was rejected as too ‘well endowed’ to star as Barbra Streisand’s body double in Yental. However her voluptuous beauty ensured that stardom was quickly thrust upon her and her two biggest hits were in biopics of Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe.
Having recorded a crossover duet of “en la marinade guerra” (in the navy) with the late Luciano Pavarotti, Sylvia Jubilee has established herself as the senior service’s favourite pin-up; and she can frequently be found on the docks at Portsmouth providing a warm welcome for home coming sailors and offering succour to seamen. With consummate bravery she has also famously been known to go down in submarines.
A star of the West End stage, Sylvia Jubilee memorably appeared as the eponymous heroine in the diary of Ann Frank and resolutely refutes the rumour that, when the gestapo burst on stage, the entire audience shouted, “she’s in the attic!”
At opening nights and premieres, Sylvia Jubilee is frequently seen on the red carpet festooned in furs and dripping with diamonds. Most of miss Jubilee’s world famous collection of jewels are gifts from her many grateful male admirers, the late maharajah of Phukitstan in particular showered her with a multitude of glittering diamonds but, for reasons best known to herself, she always refused his offer of a pearl necklace.
The mistress of quick wit and ready repartee, Sylvia Jubilee recently achieved literary history when she was twice entered by the editor of the oxford dictionary of quotations. her famous saying “a man without a woman is like a bicycle without a fish” and “men are like buses – you wait ages for one to come along then two arrive at once both declaring ‘sorry, not in service’!” have struck a chord with feminists everywhere.
Amongst her many accolades and awards, the ever modest miss Jubilee is proudest of being voted 1988’s Kwik fit fitters’ fittest bird of the year.
So there we have it – the multi-talented Miss Sylvia Jubilee: a divine diva; A woman of letters; a singing superstar; a West End and Hollywood legend; star of stage, screen and plastic surgery. We are indeed fortunate that such a goddess walks amongst us and deigns to entertain the public with her unique blend of music, song, dance and witty banter